manhid

so… i dont think that moving on and just forget about the whole situation is easy. mahirap maghilom ang pusong nasugatan. pero as they say time heals everything, so bahala na si lord.

hindi naman  ang pagiging manhid ang magiging solusyon ko, pero ito na siguro ang pinaka-best way para ma-lessen yung blow ng pain. and it is not in my personality to easily find another man to give my affection to.

so, magpapakamanhid na lang ako, i think its the easiest way but one that needs so much control, because even i don’t know when i would loose this self control and just break down.

tooks

eto ang aking hs barkada, na pwede ko ding matawag na life partners…  of all friends na nakilala ko up till now, they are the ones that even though you wont see each other that often, the feeling and sense of friendship is still there.

they are the ones who know every secret, problem, accomplishments, happiness, and event that may happen in my life. im willing to share what i desire and feel with the world, but this people know those stuff, even without me telling them what i think and feel.

why did i create this blog?

 why did i create this blog?…

hmmm… one of the reasons is privacy, i have other blog accounts but i want something new and a little private. the next is that i want to have a little space. and this site offer a more personalized domain. I also  need a little place to let myself out.

so… while creating this account i was really into to edge of typing out the words i want to say for a long time…

the thing is that the start of this year is really bad for me… especially my luck. last week has been one of the worst week ever for me. it all started with pictures that have been erased without your knowledge, getting a head on encounter with what you are trying to avoid, getting a call from a person you are trying to run away from. that will just get you and  i was really stressing over petty matters and i was feeling crap.

badluck in love life, schoolwork, family problems, unfriendly encounters, lossing the sense of belongingness.

i might say that if i am the one who will read this blog, i would also say that this is just too shallow. but try having it for a whole week straight ang still counting it. wont you feel pissed off, cheated and just plain wrong.

i love taking snapshots of people and pictures of me with my friends. but when you dont even have a copy of a recent photo you just took and that photo is with someone you really like… grrrr… that is just so great and fabulous! harhar

im a pretty territorial person, my being an only child might explain that part, but i just cant get territorial over something that isn’t yours.  i have someone, a friend, i like him to the point i cant loose him. almost everybody already know that i like him, and i feel that what i feel for him is much deeper than what i am willing to show. but having a friend that almost fell the same way as you do for that someone, will make you put on your brakes. then you would know, that the guy already have a special someone that he is just isn’t willing to let you know. damn thats just too great. then a friend will start teasing you about what you feel and everything will just get too complicated.

then everything will just become pretty unfair. wont you feel that the world is making fun of you? wont you feel that karma has been multiplied over a threefold? wont you feel cheated by fate? 

this post is going nowhere, its just a need to vent out and feel a little calmer. oh! and wait i just want to share that i cut my hair yesterday. one of the ways i feel that my problems might go away.