the realization.

so my dearest friends. i think i sort of made a sudden realization. super natatangahan na ko sa sarili ko pag di ko pa to marealize.

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contemplation part 2…(stupid me)

here we go again… another day of babbling and lots of unrestrained thoughts.

kung mababasa niya to. then thats great and also a little bad. great cause at least he would know what the hell am i hinking. and bad. cause he will know what im thinking as well. hahaha. so labooo, as usual.

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the contemplation… part 1

Keri Hilson - Knock You Down ft. Kanye West & Ne-Yo (Keri Hilson Ft. Kanye West & N Keri Hilson)

if u may ask kung bakit may part 1 ang post na to, sasagutin kita na its because this may take a lot of time o do. lol. labo right. peero here we go.

the thing is, if you read the post  just before this here is some sort of continuation.

im not the kind of person that is brave enough to face something that i know that may hurt me. im not that strong. or whatever that you may call it. i decidd that maybe being just friends with animeboy would be better. and swear to god if i want to just stay friends only to keep a sane environment. pero ang mahirap, mnsan hindi natin alam at hindi natin sinasadya nahuhulog na pala tayo hindi pa natin alam. at minsan ang msama sa pagkahulog na yon ang babagsakan pala natin ay isang matigas at amalmig na semento, dahl ang inaasahan nating maaring sumalo sa tin ay wala doon.

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the unfinished canvas

as everyone already im falling for ths guy that we will just cal “anime boy”. okay. and its not the first time ill be talking about him here in my beloved blog. 

well lets just say that he fits in to “the my type” list. and well i wanna give him something specal on hs birthday sana. but the thing is i cant thnk of something. no. actually i can. its just that im not sure if he would appreciate what im suppose to give him.

well i kinda though i might give him a painting. but the thing is that its not yet done. tapos, parang i dont think na i would do good. i mean, i dont like to think that im becoming clingy or anything diba.

so i dont think im gonna give him the painting because, for me i would apprecite it if i could keep it to myself. and  now im stuck thinking.if it would be good if i give him something. i know he is not a bad guy that wont appreciate stuff given to him by people pero i know that is honest to make you feel where you should be. sad noh. at malabo din pero yan talaga e. watever.

bebe i will miss you… come back soon!

ok so while typing this effin blog, i already cried my heart out.

just awhile ago ivy officially went to macau to live with her parents there for good. well we all know that family first, but i just cant get over the fact that we may not see each other for such a ong long time. i know she promised tat she will come christmas if she will get a part time job and earn enough to buy a plane ticket to go back here at philippines, but still there are cances she couldnt. but im hoping.

well im really sad and just plainly down. i went with some friends to send her off at the airpot and well we sort of cried there. LOL. 

she is one of the persons taht amde my high schol life wrthwhile. she is always there if i needed someon. she listened to my whinings and all of my random and weird thoughts. 

she s not just a friend i consider one of my family along with all the TOOKS.  and i am gonna miss her so much!

i hope to see her soon again! T.T

the premonition.

have you ever had dreams that have events that you don’t have a clue on who you are with but then when it happens in the present you remember having that dream and suddenly you know you already what is going to happen?

 i know its weird, somewhat creepy and all bizarre. but, what if i say to you it happens to me not just once nor twice but already a number of times.

and now that i am having dreams of things that are yet to happen. could i still change it? could i stop it from hurting me? could i be able to sway thefeelings or the minds? would it be bad if i stop this? would it be traitor like if i want it to never happen? 

i am having troubles… and it is YOU who causes it!

the best jumpers… now dead

dissecting frogs. 

well that says it all. but let me just elaborate on the fact that you wont just cut through their body, but you will cut, remove, and do all freaky science related stuff to it.

 well im not a fan ofanimals or anything, but the thing is it just creeps me out to see the poor frogs being mutilated in the name of science. eventhough the professor said that “the frog would not die in vain”, still its quite too shocking for me.

i didn’t know that i have such strong values against hurting animals. and seriously this makes me doubt about my course. i don’t like hurting small, unknowing, helpless beings just for the sake of learning. i know that learning is good and  very important, but i just cant aceept the fact that a life of a being is at cost.

well so much for learning. i just cant help but feel sorry for the poor animal.

broken bonds

to start things off, the reason why i have been really down and uncaring lately is because i am fed up with somebody. 

i am starting to loss my trust in J. its just because his over sensitivity towards what we say about him and his lack of sensitivity from what he is saying is the cause of this.  im a good friend but when you hit me below the belt and you still haven’t realize it, then that’s where were going to have  a problem. 

well to just give a gist of this whole thing - too much familiarity leads to disgust and broken bonds cant be easily mended-