the unfinished canvas

as everyone already im falling for ths guy that we will just cal “anime boy”. okay. and its not the first time ill be talking about him here in my beloved blog. 

well lets just say that he fits in to “the my type” list. and well i wanna give him something specal on hs birthday sana. but the thing is i cant thnk of something. no. actually i can. its just that im not sure if he would appreciate what im suppose to give him.

well i kinda though i might give him a painting. but the thing is that its not yet done. tapos, parang i dont think na i would do good. i mean, i dont like to think that im becoming clingy or anything diba.

so i dont think im gonna give him the painting because, for me i would apprecite it if i could keep it to myself. and  now im stuck thinking.if it would be good if i give him something. i know he is not a bad guy that wont appreciate stuff given to him by people pero i know that is honest to make you feel where you should be. sad noh. at malabo din pero yan talaga e. watever.

bebe i will miss you… come back soon!

ok so while typing this effin blog, i already cried my heart out.

just awhile ago ivy officially went to macau to live with her parents there for good. well we all know that family first, but i just cant get over the fact that we may not see each other for such a ong long time. i know she promised tat she will come christmas if she will get a part time job and earn enough to buy a plane ticket to go back here at philippines, but still there are cances she couldnt. but im hoping.

well im really sad and just plainly down. i went with some friends to send her off at the airpot and well we sort of cried there. LOL. 

she is one of the persons taht amde my high schol life wrthwhile. she is always there if i needed someon. she listened to my whinings and all of my random and weird thoughts. 

she s not just a friend i consider one of my family along with all the TOOKS.  and i am gonna miss her so much!

i hope to see her soon again! T.T

the best jumpers… now dead

dissecting frogs. 

well that says it all. but let me just elaborate on the fact that you wont just cut through their body, but you will cut, remove, and do all freaky science related stuff to it.

 well im not a fan ofanimals or anything, but the thing is it just creeps me out to see the poor frogs being mutilated in the name of science. eventhough the professor said that “the frog would not die in vain”, still its quite too shocking for me.

i didn’t know that i have such strong values against hurting animals. and seriously this makes me doubt about my course. i don’t like hurting small, unknowing, helpless beings just for the sake of learning. i know that learning is good and  very important, but i just cant aceept the fact that a life of a being is at cost.

well so much for learning. i just cant help but feel sorry for the poor animal.

bad days. :(

this days are so not fun for me. hate the rain. hate stuff that are going around me.

hate the fact that bebe is going abroad in a month. and i hate the fact and obvious thing that a friend is somewhat avoiding me.

theres sqwine flu cases at school. and the world is such a mess.

come on guys lighten up my day.

crushed and broken

Tired of living.

Passed out from striving.

Wrists and heart all bleeding.

Could I still wke up fo another day?

 Listen to my unending symphony

Let your ears bleed fom this song

Living for nohing

Losing eveything

Could you still put a smile on my face?

sadface =(

so kmusta naman yun. hindi ako magmamalinis na hindi ko din nagawa ang bagay na ito isang beses sa buhay ko, pero, kasi, hindi naman ako manlalaglag ng isang kaibigan sa iba na hindi ko sya makakampihan sa huli. alam ko na magulo, pero, ganun talaga e. i trust people too much. and sometimes i choose the wrong person to put my trust into. 

sinong bang tao ang hindi maiinis kung ikaw e ipapatext ng isang inaakala mong kaibigan na mapagsasabihan mo ng mga problema mo. napakasenseless kasi na ibibigay pa yung number mo para lang ipatext ka sa isang past ng taong gusto mo ngaun. diba nakakairita.  

pero siguro pag mag-sorry din naman sa kin yung “frend” ko na yun, papatawarin ko talaga siya. yung sorry na talagang alam mong hindi nakakaloko at hindi nakakagago. 

why did i create this blog?

 why did i create this blog?…

hmmm… one of the reasons is privacy, i have other blog accounts but i want something new and a little private. the next is that i want to have a little space. and this site offer a more personalized domain. I also  need a little place to let myself out.

so… while creating this account i was really into to edge of typing out the words i want to say for a long time…

the thing is that the start of this year is really bad for me… especially my luck. last week has been one of the worst week ever for me. it all started with pictures that have been erased without your knowledge, getting a head on encounter with what you are trying to avoid, getting a call from a person you are trying to run away from. that will just get you and  i was really stressing over petty matters and i was feeling crap.

badluck in love life, schoolwork, family problems, unfriendly encounters, lossing the sense of belongingness.

i might say that if i am the one who will read this blog, i would also say that this is just too shallow. but try having it for a whole week straight ang still counting it. wont you feel pissed off, cheated and just plain wrong.

i love taking snapshots of people and pictures of me with my friends. but when you dont even have a copy of a recent photo you just took and that photo is with someone you really like… grrrr… that is just so great and fabulous! harhar

im a pretty territorial person, my being an only child might explain that part, but i just cant get territorial over something that isn’t yours.  i have someone, a friend, i like him to the point i cant loose him. almost everybody already know that i like him, and i feel that what i feel for him is much deeper than what i am willing to show. but having a friend that almost fell the same way as you do for that someone, will make you put on your brakes. then you would know, that the guy already have a special someone that he is just isn’t willing to let you know. damn thats just too great. then a friend will start teasing you about what you feel and everything will just get too complicated.

then everything will just become pretty unfair. wont you feel that the world is making fun of you? wont you feel that karma has been multiplied over a threefold? wont you feel cheated by fate? 

this post is going nowhere, its just a need to vent out and feel a little calmer. oh! and wait i just want to share that i cut my hair yesterday. one of the ways i feel that my problems might go away.