just a thought.

when i’m working on my drawings or paintings at home, seriously i look like a dork.

my hair is messy, my clothes have some stains in them and i really don’t care. LOL

i hope someday you’ll know that you belong with me.

i thrist for it. i crave with my blood to have it. and you know what, you are the “it” we have all been talking about.

it always comes right back to you.

tomorrow, we will see each other again. and all you think of me is a friend. i know i’m asking for too much for everything to be given to me. but all this time, you are all i ever wished for. and tomorrow my heart will bleed again just to be able to smile at your face.

hmmm… is this it.

so i went to a csplay convention just awhile ago and i sort of meet a lot of new people and made a few friends. i saw my bestfriend krstoffer and had fun with micc. i meet a girl named sam and had fun tagging along with each other. hahaha. rd didnt come but i didnt really mind it. that’s a shocker. LOL.

so here is what m going to tell my dears friends, i dont mind you guys being with him. thats not the point of the previous osts. i sort of want to be that close to him. yeah fine its somewhat in the line of jealousy, but its not to the point that i wat you gus to get away from him. im not that freakin selfish. but whatever. 

also right now.i do feel happy and i dont want to be depressed in any way. im hapy with what i have. its better this way. and i have learn from this past few months. 

and you know what, i kinda thought of it. i kinda like my course for a change. of course mnus the goddamn quizzes, but i like it to a point that i may want to pursue it. but of course i still want to open a cafe and a sort of  a shop where i could sell stuff and also helpsome artists sell there pieces of art. you know what i mean. all im saying is, i like the compounding of drugs. its kinda fun for me. even it takes a lot of time, i think its really fun. hahaha.

and also i was thinking, i really want todraw more often from now on. its becoming a refresher. and i hope to get better. and i asked another friend bobby to teach me how to play guitars and i wnat to learn t. hahaha. because i have a guitar and its just plainly stuck inside my room and nobody is using it, so why not rather than it would go to waste. hahaha.

oh well… random thoughts, and some asprations to do in the future.

BRING2x: do you still likehim?… ans. yeah, but i could be happy without the commitment. friendship is bette dude. hahaha

Have a hapy day guys and gals.

the best jumpers… now dead

dissecting frogs. 

well that says it all. but let me just elaborate on the fact that you wont just cut through their body, but you will cut, remove, and do all freaky science related stuff to it.

 well im not a fan ofanimals or anything, but the thing is it just creeps me out to see the poor frogs being mutilated in the name of science. eventhough the professor said that “the frog would not die in vain”, still its quite too shocking for me.

i didn’t know that i have such strong values against hurting animals. and seriously this makes me doubt about my course. i don’t like hurting small, unknowing, helpless beings just for the sake of learning. i know that learning is good and  very important, but i just cant aceept the fact that a life of a being is at cost.

well so much for learning. i just cant help but feel sorry for the poor animal.

bad days. :(

this days are so not fun for me. hate the rain. hate stuff that are going around me.

hate the fact that bebe is going abroad in a month. and i hate the fact and obvious thing that a friend is somewhat avoiding me.

theres sqwine flu cases at school. and the world is such a mess.

come on guys lighten up my day.

the one that got away

read this from a friend’s blog and i cant help but mak a post it myself

The One that got Away

Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal
In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with ?and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you’re single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter.

All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here today?” You’ll wonder, “What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?” That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that you’re already with the one you’re with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a “might have been,” but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing. But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple find him, find her. Because the very existence of a “the one that got away” means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got this one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be “the one that got away” as well for the person who is your “the one that got away.”

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I’m thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, “Hey you, you’re the one that ALMOST got away.”

 love this article even though it was ages ago. when i was reading this it made some sense. it made me think of my current stuff and yeah mabe, why not, and there is nothing wrong with it, go for the one you feel thats right for you. it doesn’t matter who he is. if its him. its him.

swine flu is now in pandemic level 6!

today i heard in the news that the cass off A(H1N1) or commonly known as swine flu increased. 

this freaks me out. the number is increasing and it is very risky.  this is the first in forty years. 

fine i read in an  article in yahoo that it is not severe than a common seasonal flu. but still it may turn into a more dangerous form. so i really hope that it would not really get worst. school have opened up late because of the cases that grew larger. and i hope that it would really be treated and that may we have vaccines to fight against this disease.

lets just hope and pray that we may not be stricken by this virus. and also, lets pray for those people that have been affected. lets pray for our friends, family and all loved ones, that we could survive this new challenge ahead of us.

independence day

today is independence day here at my beloved country philippines.

im going to get registered this coming monday so i could vote this coming 2010. i cant really say that i trust the current government, but you see i would want to exercise my rights to vote that’s why im going to get registered. in my seventeen years of life, i may be too young to say that i have seen everything, but i could sa that i already saw a lot of flaws in this government. the arroyo administration have been in power for a long time. and i witnessed a lot of faults in it. i am not saying that those that wants to run for power now may give a better life, but what im saying is that, this country needs a new leader and a fresh start. 

i really hope that the constitutional assembly that is starting to form will not succeed. because if our government turns into a parliament. the arroyo administration may have another chance for power. and that would mean that our chance for a new start will vanish in thin air. 

this days i feel that independence is not something that is freely enjoyed here in our country. fine, we may have our rights and everything, like the government doesnt give a damn on where we use our money and what we do with our lives, but i could also see that there is not much freedom in the press. peole in media cant fully express themselves and that if they say anything that would offend the current government, they may get a lot of lawsuits coming. so i really hope for a new start.

our country needs a little freshening up. it needs a little change. and i beleive that that change must come from the youth today like myself.

i miss the school days.

coming from me this may sound weird and all. but i really do miss having classes, hectic schedule, long and stressing hours of sitting in class, and doing school work.

because of the swine flu cases in  some of the few major universities and schools here in manila, the classes have been postponed til june 15. i really miss classes and you know what. i miss college bestfriend/dinner boy. hahahahaha. i need some stress to get some stuff get going.and i realy miss eating out with dinner boy. i also miss LMS. tsk. i miss BPH. i want to have classes. and i really hope that this virus called A(H1N1) or more commonly known as swine flu would be ceased. cause its really scary to go outside and that i need to go out!. 

RANDOM: im excited to go tomorrow to the pcd concert. i hope there’s no swine flu there. (*praying*)

daily news. whatever

well im really bored and i just cant do anything else but blog. LOL

well i was watching the news a while ago and i cant help but see the joke in what the politicians are doing. ok its not like im such an expert regarding the matter but you see. they were like discussing all the stuff about hayden kho and katrina halili. and i was thinking, fine what the big deal with a freakin’ sex video. im thinking fine they made a lot of noise. but you see, shouldnt they be like discussing about the chacha that was suppose to happen if all the congressmen agrees? 

well im just collecting thoughts. but i just cant see the big deal about everything. cause there shouldnt be an issue such as this if in the first place a certain video do not exist. 

fine im talking all cynical and all but shouldnt the senators putting their energy into something that would really make our country a little better than with a never ending discussion of a bunch of rich kids and actors screwed up video?

 RANDOM: i really need a new broadband. i need internet!

start of the june

this is my first post for the month of june.

 its amazing how a lot of things happen in just a span of a small time.

just this afternoo. i had to extend for about  30 minutes because the pharmacist in charge is getting a cold. so im suppose to meet ivee after my duty, so she waited outside na lang. it didnt take us that long because we were just wrapping some paper tabs.

so ivee and i went to sm. i was planning to buy a book by BOB ONG that was newly released, but sadly it was out of stock. so we just roamed around first. then we ate dinner . had a few laughs and many of the random quirkiness. LOL. 

then when i was on my way home i bump into my old teacher. SR BAGAY! so unexpected. he was like all biceps til now. hahaha. i mean he was so macho! as in like in the yummy way. we exchange a few greetings, stories and had alittle chat in our days after st. paul. he still is the funny and lovable teacher we had during our high school days. super love him.

 then justnow. when i amstarting to browse the net, i had a few conversations with rin and stef. stef is still not over her damned relationship with her x. and i was like heard that a thousand times. but shes still my friend so im still lending some shoulder. but get over it. some wounds wont mend unless you let it be treated.

 but this is just a start of a new month. there are still many things that might happen. 

RANDOM: i want a new wireles broadband for my latop. because classes are going to start and i might start having lesser post if i cant get a faster broadband. LOL

toink.

OMG i just realized it. This is my lat week of internship! yey! after all the hard ork im going to finsh it! im really excited na. hahaha. im gonna miss all the guys i woked with at mdc la huerta.hahahaha. gave me a lot to thnk. and the experience thought me a lot.

cont. from "friends or…"

the moment i admit that i like you, will be the time that i will start avoiding you.

the almost STUPID mistake. =)

i just returned from my very short vacation and i just have this urge to tell the freaking akward night i had last 21.

so i went to our province to do a little rest and thinking. 

the thing about the 21st of may is that it is the same date every year that temptation smiles right at me at the face. literally.

 ok so there is this dance. i always go with my cousins and some friends. we had some drinks and just talked for quite some time until peopleyou know randomly asks you to dance. *i couldn’t smoke cause im with people that thinks i only drink*(LOL). sothere i am just chatting with people. and randomly receiving drinks from friends and relatives from other tables. 

so someone asks me to dance, and when people sees you dancing they started coming. so there a guy that asks me first and damn he was hot and really cute, we were joking around and laughing while we are dancing. damn those moves he got. i mean yum, but his off limits, cause i heard a lot of bad stuff about him. lol. and there’s my x we had some drinks and danced as well. (i like playing with fire eh). after a while i was just tired of dancing and went back to our table to sit around andhave some drinks again. then i saw this cute gu, im not bragging but he was checking me out, and i dont mind that cause hes just my type. so he raised his bottle and smiled i returned it as a friendly gesture. then some friends pulled me out of my seat and back to dance floor. i was starting to get a little dizzy because we dranked mixed and several beverages. so we were dancing, and just having fun and i saw the guy again. then out ofthe blue my friend introduced us and i was like all smiles. then we shook hands pretty nice hands he got. then we danced together for a while. hahahaha. the music was so in the mood because we started dancing closer. well i know hes sort of not in the range cause he got a companion but im drunk and who cares. so i was literally flirting with te guy. (BAD me) hahaahaha. then out of the blu my x got closer and started whispering stuff to my ear. well that shook me back a little sense and i was like sensing some trouble so i kinda bade to guy first saying im gonna sit first and just waved a friendly and welcoming hand.  after a while we all just went back to the floor.

 when it was time to go home, i kinda want to go home first cause they were still fixing some stuff and i only need to walk a little. so went on first. then the x went to me and started to say things taht would really sound somber. and i was taking some pity. so i just agreed to walk home with him. well being friends from way back i helped him out cause his really smashed.we were holding hands and stuuf. i wouldnt really elaborate. so when i got to front door he was all saying how uch he want the past back and i for a second consider it but well i dont realy like the thought of being paranoid because he got other flings and stuff. so i said ill thjink about it.

so well thats it to make a very long story short i flirted with a random friend of a friend and almost got back with my x out of drunkness. wasnt that effin freaky stupid of me. hahahaha. but oh well. 

Wondering

okay. so i was just contempating in my room when i just thought, maybe there is a really clear rule that tells you that you musnt fall for friends. so i texted my bestest girlfriend of what i just thought and she says its about time i think about it. then i started telling her that i was having thoughts that if im going to have a boyfriend again i would want an older and more mature guy this time. then i also said to her that i was having a crush with this guy i am working with at my ojt. and to tell the truth, the guy’s so hot and actually my type! its just that hes almost double my freaking age. so it made me have some really bothering thoughts as usual.

but seriously i do think i would want a more mature and responsible guy this time. im not looking for perfect but guess what, i wont settle for average. and i am saying that i really wouldnt want to fall for a friend ever again.